at my core...

A wise woman builds her house and a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands... Papa, I want to stop tearing down my house (who I am). As I walk this journey I need you Papa to show me where to go and when. I am resting in your tender love and going forward in confidence armed with what you have promised to me in your Word. That when I reach my Red Sea, I will pass through...So my journey to becoming a woman after your heart... What is it that I long for? How do I begin to heal of the wounds and tragedies of my life?My feminin heart has been lost - you have placed within me a femininity that is powerful and tender, fierce and alluring... but it has been misunderstood and assaulted.... I am going after my healing - I am going to recover what the enemy has stolen from me..."Then the time came when the risk it took to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anais NinHow can I be a woman of God and actually be confident, scandalous and beautiful, yet not be a radical feminist or and insecure shadow... HOw can I be strong but not harsh... how can I be vulnerable but not drowning in my sorrow? What path does my journey to womanhood take and what does my final destination look like?My heart is central to who I am... I can do it - everything that God calls me to by following his lead... Above all else guarding my heart for it is the wellspring of who I am!
Which leads me to a decision that I have made over the last few days... I have determined not to date until the new year... not because I think it is bad, but because I know that I am going back to Ontario and there are a lot of things that I need to work on in my own life, decisions and standards that I have to set in my own life. I need to learn how to be friends with guys first... so until Jan 2007 the only kind of love life I will have will be that of my precious prince...JC