vulnerability

Have you ever thought about why you feel so much closer to people after you have spilled your guts about your deepest darkests?
It never ceases to amaze me how vulnerability creates intimacy - and yet, I am so often afraid to be open and vulnerable with people. why??? why is it that I think that walls will protect me, when in reality they are the very things that harm me because they keep people away... we are designed to be in relationship with people... fellowship - to be one as Jesus and the Father are one... it is our design - created in His likeness for such... and yet - I still hide behind my walls... sometimes unknowingly (to my defense :P)... Matt and I have had quite a few conversations these last few days about some pretty tough issues and I have found that at this end of things we are closer than before... I think it has to do with that verse about 'confessing your sins one to another that you may be healed' and 'love covers a multitude of sins'... Matt challenged me in many areas... and now I want to ask you - those of you who are close... please feel free to challenge me if and when you notice me putting up walls... trying to hide behind a certain facade of 'have it all together' - cuz I really most certainly don't... sigh I am human... walking in the grace that is afforded me today...
And I also want to challenge you... take the opportunity in the next few days to be vulnerable with someone - share what you are going through at the core of who you are... and let love overflow from above into that situation and watch the intimacy grow... be it with a spouse, a friend or relative...

wedding website

hahahahahaha... oh my gosh I can't even wait to share this website with everyone - I am under orders to wait though - but I can tell you all how absolutely hilarious it is - I dont' think I quite understood how brilliant my man is with words... oh gosh... :) You'll all have to stay tuned for the link... it will be coming soon - about two weeks til Matt gets here... we still have stuff to do to finish it up!!!

Um... on that note... lots to do to finish things up... um ok I don't really know what I am talking about.. :P

I made it to the gym today 2nd day in a row... I have a new trainer now and she's gonna be pretty hard core... I am excited! Only 136 days til our wedding... which means less than that to get this girl in shape for a wedding dress! :P and I plan to work hard at it... afterall isn't that the best wedding present I can give my future husband? (ok one of the best) speaking of which... any ideas for wedding party gifts?

Engaged!

Definitely time for an important announcement to all blog readers - who don't already know! March 4th 2009 marked the day of engagement for me and the love of my life!

After a long practicum in Prince George, my babee had me drive out to Jasper to meet him... (my favourite town in the whole world!) where he surprised me by showing up early - I was of course shopping in the Christmas Store (the most perfect store for me!!)... we cancelled that IceWalk tour due to extreme exhaustion and grabbed a coffee and took a little walk of our own...

Then with Jasper the bear as our only witness... I set him up for the greatest question of his life... which I of course jumped up and down - gave him that kiss right there and said YES!!!!

Now, I have been pretty giddy ever since then... the excitement of wedding planning all coming together... and of course looking at the ring when nobody is watching... tee hee... I am sooo excited to be joining my life in 141 days to my best friends life... to be marrying my real life prince charming... August 8th is the day peoples!!! Save the date!!!

an up and coming surprises!

Today has been a good day... definitely a relaxing one...

I got up at 8 and was going to go to a class at the hospital but then decided that I only really have two days off so didn't really want to... so I played some tic-tac-toe with my babee then we both headed to the gym (Matt in GP and me in PG)...

After a good run I stopped to pick up some groceries and then some 'things' for a surprise that I have planned for Matt... now, I can't actually tell you about it on here cuz he may just read this blog... and it MUST be kept secret! I haven't decided when Iam going to give him the surprise - either his bday or some random visit to Terrace... hmmm

Now... apparently HE has a surprise for me!!! I love surprises... love love LOVE them... and Matt is so good at surprising me! After Jasper and Edmonton... he has a surprise for me in Grande Praire before I have to leave to head back to Terrace... apparently he says its his best one yet... any ideas what it could be?! he won't give me any clues...

(sorry if my excitement is repetitive... :P)

oh... the rest of my day... loungin around... :)

an unfortunate poke

So day one of this set... not even 4 hours in and I was drawing some blood from an arterial line - did good... remembered all the steps... was wearing gloves... was doing wonderfully... or so I thought...

Well... as I go to hand off the vials of blood to the lab tech waiting just outside of the door - I took the adapter piece to dispose of it... which had some blood on it and was apparently sharp...

sharp enough to poke through my gloves... UGH - (no no..) DOUBLE UGH!!!

This patient is Heb A, Heb B, and Hep C positive... just freakin great! needless to say the poke drew my blood and that means I have to be screened... so is a 2hr wait in ER for a freakin tetanus and some lab work...

End result there is a 1.8% chance of contracting Hep C... I am covered through my vaccinations for Heb A and B... and as far as the HIV possibility goes - they are slim - the woman is older and doesn't appear to be a high risk patient for HIV... phew - no antiretroviral drugs for me...they are nasty horrible - make you ridiculously ill... And I am really not all that worried... which apparently according to some is ridiculous - but I figure why worry about something that I can't change now anyway? what can I change by worrying? it would only make it harder to deal with for me... really - I would rather just trust that God has everything under control... that his plan for me is bigger than a needle poke and some Hep C... so not that my first inclination is not to worry - but rather, I choose not to worry... I don't hold the power to change anything... so I choose to trust in the strength of my Papa to carry me through - his arms are strong enough... strong enough for anything - even an unfortunate poke.

2 months later...

I have to say... I am rather disappointed in myself as I see how long it has been since I have updated my blog! I can make excuses about how busy I have been and all that has been going on... but really? how long does it actually take to write down a few words??? yeah, not long... smiles
So here I am...
It is a super nice sunny day today in PG... it is my last day off before heading back to work... well not really work - its education time for me as I am in PG 'learning' in their ICU for 12 shifts... I have 4 finished and 8 more to go! The excitement of finishing is more than I can handle... you see... I get to see Matt again after I am all done!!!
We have a pretty busy few days planned when I am finished... he is taking me to Jasper (cuz its my favourite place pretty much in all the world), and then we are going to go to Edmonton - his friend Brian (his old youth pastor/focus on the family speaker person) and Celia live there... and I have to meet them... :) AND we are gonna go to the West Ed Mall!!! :D I love that mall, just cuz its soooo overwhelming! And it will be fun to go there with Matt... then after there I have to head back to Terrace for my orientation the our ICU... smiles... I am looking forward to seeing everyone again too... I miss my sibs and my wonderful friends... and hey guess what?! no more courses!!!! (for a while anyway... I need a break!) So anyone who wants to just hang out - go for coffee - go to the gym... let me know... cuz I want to see you!!!

a new season begins...

This is the picture... coming in after only 4 runs on my first day of the season... this is the picture of freezing me, Birke, and Aaron.... It was a great day... gorgeous - beautiful... talk about a reflection of Papa's glory! The sun was shining so brightly - I was amazed again at how incredible creation is... wow... it took my breath away... or was it the subzero weather that took my breath away! It was cold. no, that is an understatement... it was FREEZING!!! I was a big whiner... but that is nothing new to Birke... she's the greatest boarding partner of all time!! Our new protoge (who already far exceeds my skills) is my little brother Aaron... he really is such a great guy - I love his sense of adventure and his apparent lack of fear... he will certainly challenge Birke and I to expand our snowboarding skills!!
Now I leave you with one more picture - just to prove to you how freakin cold!! Yes, I wanted to cry - the pain in my feet from cold... now forever captured in a photograph! (no worries though - no frostbite... as much as I felt like there was!!)

Can't wait to go again!!!

some exciting news!

With the encouragement of Travis (a friend at work), well ok... he brought the application and filled out half of it... I applied for a part time position in ER/ICU!

I heard back on the 17th from the nurse manager for that department and it looks as though I have the job! :)

It would mean that I would work part time in ER/ICU - floating between the departments, and part time on the Acute Care Unit where I already work. One day and one night in each department... I am really excited about this opportunity! I am excited to expand and develop my skills as a nurse... it really is a great opportunity! :)

It is not that I dislike my job... not at all! I love the people I work with and the work on the floor... I find myself very blessed to be working in a job that I love and with so many great people... and again with so many opportunities to be His hands in this world...

I won't start this new position until the end of January... I will start with an orientation to the ER (even though I already work casual down there) and then as soon as thats over...
I go to Prince George... for the month of February I am going to PG for my ICU practicum! It is not where I originally wanted to go... I did want to go to Nanaimo, but it seems that God has other plans... and it looks like it will be easier to visit Matt on my days off... :) blessing in disguise I would say!
After I return to Terrace in March I start a month long orientation to the ICU here... before starting in on my line in April...

SO much goes on... each day truly is an adventure!!! To think that all this is happening... when CHRISTMAS is in less than a week!!! Yes... I am beyond excited for that... but thought I would share with you all a little tidbit of my daily happenings and events...

SQUISHES