another journey afar

And the journey across our beautiful country begins again... tomorrow... sigh... I am not exactly looking forward to it - my body is still complaining to me about the torture I inflicted upon it...

More time to read - and this time I have a working iPod! Yay! I hope the time goes quickly... and once I finally get there... time with friends for New Years!

For new year's eve I am going with my dahling Somer to the JF Dance in Brampton... JF - Junior Farmers... ha ha ha I know it sounds completely dorky... but they are such awesome people and we have so much fun!! I can't wait to see them... I missed a few of the dances in the fall due to my school/clinical schedule... that is my excitement to look forward to!

After that... I have a CVAD/IV course on friday the 5th and then orientation on monday the 8th and last but not least a diversity workshop on the 9th... busy times!

SO... my loves in Terrace... I can't wait to get back and actually catch up with everyone! It was hard over the holidays as everyone had family things... but I can't wait to sit and have heart to hearts with each of you!

AND... my ON darlings... can't wait for our reunion - I miss you all!

my birthday card...

Once, before the foundation of the world,

Jesus and His Father had a conversation

about the great plan of redemption.

That conversation included you.

Jesus looked down the corridors

of time and knew that you would be born.

He saw your needs when He said

to His Father, "I will go."

At the Father's appointed time,

Jesus came to earth so that you would

never need to be far from Him.

What an incredible journey He made;

what an overwhelming expression

of love He made; wat an

aweseome purpose He had in mind.

You were on His heart.

When He left His home in

heaven, He saw you;

when He became a man on earth,

He was seeking you;

when He stretched out His hands

upon the cross, He was

reaching out to you;

when He returned to His Father,

He was preparing a place for you.

You are the sheep He has

come to shepherd, to guide, to feed,

to protect, to shelter, and to carry.

You are the one He calls His own.

~Roy Lessin~

Happy Birthday to ME!

Today is a very special day... it is the day that God blessed this world with ME!!! giggles!

HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

So I am still SUCH a kid! I may be turning 23 today... but you might as well make it 2+3... I was up at 5am! Ha ha... the tv got left on last night and I woke up to the sound of it and the smell of bacon frying... mmm April my darling made BLT's for breaky!

After coffee and stockings... we began the gift opening... I am always the one to pass out the gifts every year and I have to say that this year I would have willingly given up the honour - definitely due to the excruciating pain that was inflicted upon me by Shames Mountain... lol (seriously, it's bad)

The gifts were all completely wonderful!! Santa definitely delivered... even in the absence of my parcels from ON... now I know its not about the gifts! Nobody has to tell me that, especially after this year! Thank you to our special Christmas angel who brought gifts on Christmas Eve to our house... you are such a blessing! But I know that everyone wants to know what I got! :P

A beautiful card from my mama... the verse which I will post later as it is so entirely lovely... and then I got not one but two chrismtas novels!! A christmas CD... (I get a book every year from mama), a Christmas CD... I adore Christmas music!! a pink hat, pink mittens, and a pretty pink scarf! Some lovely pampering bath soaps and lotions... mmm... some perfume - so lovely... a journal - to record the dreams of my new year! And my darling sisters gave me a gift certificate to the Christian bookstore... they were going to get me a new Bible... but thought that I should choose it, if in fact I wanted a new one... their thoughts were that my current one is falling apart and wanted to get me something that was dear to my heart... I am so glad that they let me pick out what I want as... I don't think I would be able to part with all the treasures that are inside my Bible... so much in there - notes and underlinings and all the treasures that my Papa has spoken to my heart... SO, they truly blessed me with their gift!

Talked with my wonderful brother and my dad who are in Ontario... I wish my brother could be with us... but he decided to visit my dad for the holiday as he doesn't get very much time off of school...

Now... tis a day ahead of games and reading and christmas music and christmas movies... and christmas candy! I did lots of baking too... and am working on gourmet dinner - smiles...if anyone can stuff anything else in their candy filled tummies!

pictures to come...

professional boarder...

This is me and my newfound abilities!!! I knew I was going to be a pro boarder!!

(this was in my dreams last night... tee hee)

Ok... so can we say pain... giggles... I took soo many tumbles today!! It was soooo beautiful! (but its so pretty.. tee hee) - thats what I would say all day whenever I was feeling a little "overwhelmed" I started out just kind of getting used to the board with Birke... then I had a beginners lesson with Darcy for an hour... he is a great teacher... I am definitely going back to him for another lesson! (he also went over the hour to make sure I had turning down pat... so sweet) The guy at the handle tow took pity on me too... and everytime I would get to the bottom, he would just pull me so I wouldn't have to do the work :P... nature girl is returning... but there is still a little 'princess' stuck inside! giggles...

Seriously... I am doing pretty good considering it was my first day in 4 years... and second time at that... I went up the lift and did it twice... but by the end of the day it was harder cuz I was so tired... and took some pretty good spills... a few times I let out quite the shrieks as I landed with my body twisted at my knees... my one knee is throbbing - but I got back up and went at er again! I slowly feeling the aches settling... my wrists and shoulders (from getting up) and then my knees and calves... feel the burn! I loved it!

If all goes well... and my poor body heals from the damage that I bestowed upon it... I will be returning again on boxing day for round two!

Oh... before I sign out on this wonderous adventure... a little more humour! I set my alarm on my cell so that I could get up and shower before Birke arrived to pick me up... she was coming at a quarter after 8... so I got up at 7... jumped in the shower... took a little too long and so was grabbing all my things together... made it downstairs glanced at the clock to see how much time I had left.... apparently I had another three hours still!!!!! I had used my old cell from ON... yikes!! ON time is three hours ahead... so really I got up at 4am today! LOL... too funny for words... so I finished a book I started yesterday then went back to bed for a two hour nap! Then with a nice hot Timmy's... experienced the beauty of creation... and the pain of snowboarding... seriously, who invented such torture and called it fun?!?! (I am sorry... I do love it... my knee is speaking right now... )

God... you and I

Dancing With God

When I meditated on the word Guidance,

I kept seeing "dance" at the end of the word.

I remember reading that doing God's will is a lot like dancing.

When two people try to lead, nothing feels right.

The movement doesn't flow with the music,

and everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky.

When one person realizes that, and lets the other lead,

both bodies begin to flow with the music.

One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back

or by pressing lightly in one direction or another.

It's as if two become one body, moving beautifully.

The dance takes surrender, willingness,

and attentiveness from one person

and gentle guidance and skill from the other.

My eyes drew back to the word Guidance.

When I saw "G: I thought of God,

followed by "u" and "i". "God, "u" and "i" dance."

God, you, and I dance.

As I lowered my head, I became willing to trust

that I would get guidance about my life.

Once again, I became willing to let God lead.

til I am only...

With every breath, with every thought

from what is seen, to the deepest part

I offer all, that I've come to be

to know your love

Father, in me

Father, You're all I need

my soul sufficiency

My strength when I am weak

the love that carries me

Your arms enfold me

Til I am only

a child of God

With every step, on this journeys walk

And wisdom songs that the soul has sought

I give myself, unreservedly

to know your love

Father in me

Father, you're all I need

My soul sufficiency

My strength when I am weak

The love that carries me

Your arms enfold me

til I am only

a child of God

Your arms enfold me... til I am only a child of God

ONEness

To preface this blog... you have to know the absolute delight I am feeling in discovering the following! Ask and you WILL receive! giggles...

ok... about a week ago I got woke up and felt like God was trying to say something to me... something he was trying to show me.... all I got was two verses... talking about two very different things - Jn 17:22 (Jesus and the Father are ONE) and Gen 2:24 (two become ONE)... oh the delight of discovering connections! I was remiss in sitting down to search it out... but it has continuously been mulling in my head... what could he mean by this... I wonder.... SO today I finally sat still and said - ok... show me - ta da... he sure did! His love for me is such a delight...

The Nature of God as "One"
The Apostle John wrote in one his letters that "God is love." This statement sounds simple but is packed with implications. First, since God is love from all eternity (without any creation) and by Himself then it must be understood with respect to God Himself. But love only has a meaning when it involves a relationship between persons. This implies that the One God - if He is love in and of Himself - must exist as a relationship. Let's explore this concept of God being "One" a little bit further.
The relationships God has established between people (e.g., marriage partners, parent/child, king/subject, etc) are pictures of the relationship within God and between God and man. Each image presents a different facet of that relationship. Each is necessary to grasp the reality.
Consider what Jesus said about His relationship to the Father. Jesus said that He and the Father were one (see John 17:22). Jesus calls us to be one with Him, as He is one with the Father. Further, when God created man and woman He desired that they be united as "one flesh" (Gen. 2:24). This could not simply be a reference to the bearing of children, which are in a sense, a one flesh result of their union. It must refer to the marriage itself, for certainly they were "one flesh" before they bore any children. This concept of "one" then does not then refer to a uniform or homogeneous state of being; men and women are very different (despite what some feminists would have you believe). The "members of the body of Christ" are also very different. Individuals who are united in marriage do not lose their individual traits, such as their own thoughts, emotions, etc. And a married couple does not have the same blood type after they were married if their blood types were different before they were married. If the members of the body of Christ were to become a "uniform and homogeneous" being then we each would lose our identity as "self" and what would emerge would be something akin to an eastern religious "cosmic consciousness." The "oneness" must refer not to a homogeneous singularity. The oneness of the marriage and the body of Christ are reflective of the nature of God Himself.
What exactly does "oneness" then mean? The Hebrew word used for God as one is echad. Echad can mean one as in "one goat," "one day," "one stone," etc. However, it can also refer to a plural unity such as in a composite whole. For example, in Numbers 13:23 echad refers to a cluster of grapes. And in Gen 11:6 those who built the tower of Babel are referred to as "one people." When we refer to a person we know that the "one" person consists of several distinct components (emotions, thoughts, hands, heart, liver, etc.). Yet we all understand all of these parts constitute "one person." Echad is the word to describe the "one flesh" nature of marriage (Gen. 2:24). Since God is referred to as echad in the same way as man and woman are referred to as echad this heavily implies that the oneness of marriage reflects the oneness of God. The individuals do not become a homogeneous consciousness or a physical singularity of any sort. We are dealing on a spiritual level of oneness, which is reflective of God's nature. The "oneness" we observe in marriage and the other examples are shadows of the reality of the oneness within God.
Now the true nature of God's oneness we can only describe by how it appears to us from what Jesus said and did. The best words we have to describe the members of the trinity seem to be as "persons."

this is beautiful... try not to cry!

She jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room. She said: "How is my little boy ? Is he going to be all right ? When can I see him ?" The surgeon said, "I'm sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn't make it."
Sally said, "Why do little children get cancer ? Doesn't God care any more ? Where were you, God, when my son needed you ?"
The surgeon asked, "Would you like some time alone with your son ? One of the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he's transported to the university." Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good bye to her son. She ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair. "Would you like a lock of his hair ?" the nurse asked. Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy's hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to Sally.

The mother said, "It was Jimmy's idea to donate his body to the University for Study. He said it might help somebody else. "I said no at first, but Jimmy said, 'Mom, I won't be using it after I die. Maybe it will help some other little boy spend one more day with his Mom." She went on, "My Jimmy had a heart of gold. Always thinking of someone else. Always wanting to help others if he could."

Sally walked out of Children's Mercy Hospital for the last time, after spending most of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy's belongings on the seat beside her in the car. The drive home was difficult. It was even harder to enter the empty house. She carried Jimmy's belongings, and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her son's room. She started placing the model cars and other personal things back in his room exactly where he had always kept them. She laid down across his bed and, hugging his pillow, cried herself to sleep.

It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Laying beside her on the bed was a folded letter. The letter said :
"Dear Mom, I know you're going to miss me; but don't think that I will ever forget you, or stop loving you, just 'cause I'm not around to say "I Love You" . I will always love you, Mom, even more with each day. Someday we will see each other again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you won't be so lonely, that's okay with me. He can have my room and old stuff to play with. But, if you decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn't like the same things us boys do. You'll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like, you know. Don't be sad thinking about me. This really is a neat place. Grandma and Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me around some, but it will take a long time to see everything. The angels are so cool. I love to watch them fly. And, you know what? Jesus doesn't look like any of his pictures. Yet, when I saw Him, I knew it was Him. Jesus himself took me to see GOD ! And guess what, Mom ? I got to sit on God's knee and talk to Him, like I was somebody important. That's when I told Him that I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you good bye and everything. But I already knew that wasn't allowed. Well, you know what Mom ? God handed me some paper and His own personal pen to write you this letter. I think Gabriel is the name of the angel who is going to drop this letter off to you. God said for me to give you the answer to one of the questions you asked Him 'Where was He when I needed him ?' "God said He was in the same place with me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross. He was right there, as He always is with all His children. Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what I've written except you. To everyone else this is just a blank piece of paper. Isn't that cool ? I have to give God His pen back now. He needs it to write some more names in the Book of Life. Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper. I'm sure the food will be great. Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I don't hurt anymore. The cancer is all gone. I'm glad because I couldn't stand that pain anymore and God couldn't stand to see me hurt so much, either. That's when He sent The Angel of Mercy to come get me. The Angel said I was a Special Delivery ! How about that ?
Signed with Love from God, Jesus & Me.

Its YOUR day... its YOUR year!

My sweet love... today is YOUR special day!! I love you soooo much... If I could tell the world I would shout it from the rooftops how wondeful you are and how precious you are to my heart... you are a treasure that I will carry with my always... you are such an incredible person - a true blessing from Papa to this world... my sweet love.... this is YOUR year!

miss you tons - so wish you were here...

home free!

today, I have nothing planned... nada, niete... nope nothing! Can I tell you how nice that is!!! I have been up, perused other blogs, had cereal, and am now sitting here drinking a new coffee concoction which includes egg nog in it... and must say it is rather delightful!

Now to follow suit in all the other blogs... what on earth is happening with this weather?!?! It was sucha beautiful winter wonderland... and all that rain?! I never knew it could rain that much!! Our basement flooded along with so many other peoples... not too bad, but still!! It's like the re-enactment of the great flood of Noah's time... crazy! Someone said something in their blog about there being sun today... I have yet to see that... but it doesn't appear to be raining so I am satisfied... giggles... oh the life of the NorthPole...

Last night was an absolutely wonderlovely time! Christina (From work) hosted a beautiful semi-formal dinner party... it was delicious! And we did a small gift exchange, played games, talked and talked for hours... laughed and laughed for hours beyond those hours... smiles, it was a complete success! Thanks Krys! It was also soo very good to see everyone! My precious gum girl came after work with another of our friends from the hospital... and then some of Christina's friends that she knew outside of the hospital (I also knew them) - Adam, Eric, Ben... whatever you do... don't get them started on computers! Everyone of them are computer geeks... and wonderful guys... lol

My newest exciting news (there is always something exciting going on in my world!)... Gum Girl and I are going snowboarding! Tomorrow quite possibly... and if not tomorrow, then Thursday, and if not Thursday then Friday, and if not Friday then Saturday... giggles.. and so on the story goes! I got a hat last night at the party that I can wear when I go... DELIGHT!

Well... today there is still no movers (that would have been awfully quick I know...) so I will be puttering around here... maybe do a little baking... cleaning... and definitely spend some time with my Papa!

busyness...

I wake up this morning to the pounding of rain?! on my roof??? How completely bizarro is that! I have had such a FULL past two days... I guess making up for the slow pace of living on a bus - tee hee...

Today will be equally as busy as I having a christmas dinner party with some people from the hospital... and my movers are supposed to be coming today... (oh no -they just called, the guy has no idea... gonna call back in a few.. giggles)

So where do I begin... I have so much to catch up on... I don't even know if that is possible...

My bus ride went mostly well, very few mishaps along the way... but of course there were mishaps - has to happen with me and travel!

(side note: movers called back... apparently my stuff hasn't left Ontario yet!!!! alllll my christmas presents are in there... and I am the only one with presents to give this year... k, breathe C, breathe... um... k, before I cry - I guess the day can only get better from here on in?)

Back to the bus... (need the distraction right now) crazy people and crazy times... but I was able to get a lot of reading done - which caused a few lightbulbs to go on in my brain... My mp3 player broke almost minutes after I got on the bus on Wednesday morning... it just wouldn't start... I tried new batteries... everything... and still nothing... sooooo not a sound of music for the rest of the ride... BUT Saturday morning when I got home, music was playing... blessed music... oh how I love the music!

The lack of music really was good too... I spent more time thinkin and prayin... learned a lot through the process of it... I am sure I will touch more on that stuff in a later blog... as for the rest of the bus... most of it was just one late bus to the next late bus... one crazy person to the next...all a wonderful adventure - to be repeated in less than 10 days... sigh

K... I can't concentrate right now... I am really really bummed about all the presents being left in Ontario... ok well... back later I guess

oh christmas tree of mine!

Today the tree went up - and not without a little adventure!!!
There are lots of things to write about... and oh I so want to do that all now... but I am off to another Christmas party/get together... young adults thing at Pastor Mike n Mo's... should be fun fun fun - can't wait to see everyone and catch up!

Arrived...

Definitely will have to update this later... but for now... let the world know - I have arrived in Terrace... survived the bus trip... and received hugs n squishes from each of my darlings!
I also managed to have a job interview today - got the job and have the 'get to know each other' staff party tonight.. holy jumpin! BUSY DAY! and soooo sleepy... but happy and content!

my last day as an Ontario resident...

Tomorrow morning the Greyhound departs with its very precious Christmas cargo... me! I will get up early to have that birthday breaky with my sweet love... yay!

Today was a good day... full of blessing! I got up and puttered around packing last minute things... had a great talk with my dear friend Trish... gosh I love that girl! Then my uncle called and before I ran out I went to get the mail (for my last time) and my contract for Mills was in there... outlining all the details and the best part - the pay! I actually get a monthly allowance for working in an 'isolated area'... SEE EVERYONE! I told you Terrace was in the middle of nowheres! giggles...

Anyways... with that excitement... I was off to meet my uncle... more blessings from heaven let me tell you!!!

This evening was then full of magical delight...

We celebrated our Christmas together this evening... Jilly, BJ, Koda and I... they are such wonderful people... I love them to pieces!!! We had a delicious roast dinner and then opened gifts - I of course had to open my birthday one first... cuz Jilly says that birthdays come before Christmas... I love that she makes a big deal of my birthday... it makes me feel so much more special... as she always does!! Here's a few pics...

Ok... so I look a lot tired... just don't forget I am a sicky right now... and BJ... he just doesn't like Christmas so he was trying not to participate... he's such a softy inside...

Anyhoo... the end of the evening... went for a drive with AJ and Les to get Hot Chocolate from Timmy's... then to look at the Christmas lights on Old Scugog... an old tradition... the houses on Old Scugog are massive... and everyone (mostly) on the street decorates their houses with lights... it is soooo beautiful! My christmas is complete because of it!!! Les you are brilliant!!

Tomorrow... sigh... bus for 4 whole days... ugh... I am looking forward to the reading though... and the me time of reflection... gotta look for the good!!!! And anyone who wants to send txt msgs... call my fam for my cell number! I will welcome them gladly!!

Ontario loves... I will miss you... BC treasures... I will see you soon.... the rest of the world... SQUISH

PICTURES!

from the 'bridal shower'....

hello?!... would the latecomers please hurry - I am hungry!!

mmm.... Amanda I love you - Krispie Squares are my favouritest!

Les... this was supposed to be a civilized photograph!

this whole hang-upside-down-on-the-couch thing is a lot harder than it looks!

TRYING to shed some light on my pink hair! (somer loves me a little too much)

well that worked... kinda...(you have no idea how hard it was for me to take this pic!)

ever laughed until you cried.... I can't even remember what it was about!

wayyy too funny for words!!!

Amanda's got two pizza stones - cuz we are such wonderful friends! giggles

and the fun begins as we TRY to get a decent picture of the five of us....

after resorting to 'class picture' format.... we finally get something... (this is probably 'take 52' or something like that!)

The Nurses: Amanda, CC (aka Carin), Leslie, AJ, Somer

the last few and the next few...

coming from the lips of an angel... that song is playing right now - I like the raspy sound of nickelback....

anyyyhooo.. the last few posts have not at all been indicative of what in the world has been going on in my minute to minute, second by second day...giggles... well ok some of the are... it just seems like I haven't posted in forever! Biggest news... I have completed all courses in the BScN program!! no more school, no more books, no more teachers dirty looks... ok well not completely true - I have to finish out my clinical hours (consolidation) But I get to do that out in the glorious Skeena Mountains!

My movers actually came on Friday... they have almost allllll of my stuff - I kept a duffle bag of clothes, my laptop, and one more duffle bag (for all the stuff I anticipate that I did not pack!) giggles... only 3 more days before I board the Greyhound bound for BC.... I can't wait to see my Honey Bunch, my Sugar Buns, my Dauly and yes even my Mama... and of course my Rock family... its funny how only a few months can build such a bond - I know I am not super close to many of you... but it feels so much like family... which is really an incredible feeling...thanks guys

Tomorrow - a busy day... a bittersweet day... it will be my last day with my boys... it makes me want to cry... I've seen them grow and loved them so much over the past few years... to hear them say - "I don't want you to go away like before" (they are referring to my trip over the summer) - breaks my heart... because they are too small to understand that this time is different... I won't be back :( tears...
ok enough of that for now - once I finish there... I am headed to the Drews... dinner with my sis' and their dad and Cara... last time I see them too in a long time! gosh - so many last times... had made me kinda sad the last few days... I have to keep reminding myself - that for 'such a time as this' I am going to where I need to be... its all gonna be ok...

Tuesday - pretty wide open at this point.... aside from dinner between 5-7 where Jilly n BJ and I are celebrating our Christmas together! (BJ gets home from work at 5 and Jilly leaves for work this week at 7 - so we will take what we can get!)

Then Wednesday.... how can one be sooo conflicted in emotions?! I am super excited because I get to have one of our special C n Chan breaky's... we are going to celebrate her birthday before she drops me off at the bus depot... which leads me to more mixed emotions... on my way to see my fam - but days and days on the bus...

Just great... now my sweet love is talking to me... asking are you getting sad?... I said that I was but trying to chalk it up to being sick... told her Jilly said to me "goodluck with that - anyone who knows you, knows differently..." Then my sweet love tells me... "its ok to be sad" - now the tears are a flowin...

I am gonna miss this place, these people, this life... guess its all about learning to hold things loosely... I mean I know that even signing the contract with Northern Health does not lock me into anything... and the contract isn't even signed yet... and can easily be broken... It all just feels so final....gosh - haven't cried like this in a while... ok breathe... Its alll gonna be ok... I have Papa to go with me wherever I end up - even if it is the end of the world (Terrace) and even if I have to leave behind friends - friends who for the first time in my life I KNOW love me.. just as I am... who have never once expected me to be anything other than myself - never expected perfection but always pushed me to reach my best... I love them... and as life leads me to another place for the time being... I will embrace the journey and the people that he places in my path... with arms wide open...

God determines....

"God determines who walks into your life....it's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go." - annonymous

I always find people so interesting. Everyone comes with different stories, different backgrounds, different strengths and different weaknesses. Where we come from has molded us and shaped us into who we are today.

I am learning (slowly as it may be...) that I can only be responsible for me, for who I am, for what I have to offer, and for the actions that I make... Who am I to determine how somebody else should respond in a certain situation or environment... I am not God, but I am responsible to him, responsible to him for MY actions, for MY words, MY thoughts... I am responsible to be all that he created me to be.

Sometimes this is a hard lesson for me to grasp - and one that I am seemingly always learning over and over again... I sometimes wish that I could 'help' people to come to the same conclusions that I come to - or 'help' them to be what I think would be best... how completely and utterly awful of me! Truly no good is in me! As if I would try to deny someone to be all that they are called to be - simply because that does not fit into what I think is best... I am not omnicient - all-knowing God... ugh - humbled again...

Papa, search my heart and know my thoughts... make me whole and pleasing in your sight - you are the one that matters and you are the one that I will never let go of! If I get a choice - I choose you! Good times come, hard times come... but always you are there... always you are behind me, protecting me... in front of me, guiding me... and always beside me holding my hand through it all....
I sometimes wonder sweet Jesus, how I will ever find a love even half as precious as yours... is it possible? sigh... I am content in your arms, you feed the deep recesses of my heart, you fill the longings of my heart... you speak to the romance that is sacred... I am yours and you are mine... some may not understand, and many will mock the love that we share... but that does not negate the fact that it is true.... YOU sweet Jesus, I refuse to let go of...

Bridal Shower

Last night my UOIT girls and I celebrated... Amanda is getting married! She is marrying her highschool sweetie... their wedding is in April and I will definitely be coming back for the big celebration! I am super excited! Congrats girl!

So because a lot of us are doing our consolidation in 'remote' areas... (I am going all the way out to BC, Leslie is going to ThunderBay, and Amanda is going to Tiverton... Somer and AJ will stick around the Durham Region) we all decided to have a shower a little early for Amanda....

We did a potluck idea - quite the mixture of food really! And then we played games and of course laughed and talked until late! Lots of pictures were taken... and will be posted as soon as I get them! Oh gosh we laughed.... giggles... thanks girlies... gonna miss you!!!

my birthday celebration!

Wednesday started off horribly - I had to be up early for class and even earlier becuase I had to get ready for my grad photos which were right after class... and I had bags under my eyes the size of china! Then in class (last one!!!) I had to do a poster presentation and as we were driving to campus, I realized that I was missing some information on my board! oh my... oh and did I mention mr. north wind blowing so hard that all the work done on my hair was for nothing! grr...
The day made a quick turn aournd though!! Chandra picked me up and we made our way to Toronto for my birthday treat - a day at the salon to get my hair done!! The top stylist - Wayne - is crazy!! He had us laughing all day... and then almost crying when I discovered that he made my hair pink and chopped about 4inches off... It looks great though!!! and there were no tears because I surprisingly loved it!!! And I have to say - it is not pink as you will soon see in pictures but rather a very bright red... fuschia if you will!! (you can see the colour best in the picture with Justin as the colour is under a layer of deep brown!)
Once Wayne had completely transformed us - we did some shopping and had Harvey's for dinner!! yum! I think Harvey's is my favourite fast food burger place... When our bellies were full we headed south to pick up Ryan! (I was super excited to meet Ryan - Chan's new man!) He's a great guy and makes Chandra happy - so therefore makes me happy, but he better make sure he doesn't pull any tricks... or I'll have to hunt him down!!!
Back to the shwa to change and head out to the Tartan (a local pub) where we were meeting all of our friends... most of the pictures from the night are following... not a wild and crazy night by any means - but it was so nice to see some old friends! Thank you to everyone for all of your kind words/gifts... I am gonna miss you guys!
It was an early but wonderful birthday! A special thank you to my sweet love... you are too much wonderful!

My Girls!

Lana darling n me...

My nurse girls...

Justin and me...

Steve, Kristal, and me!

Me n Somer

Holiday Happies...

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?
Egg Nog around christmas time... and hot chocolate, if its the good stuff is always a treat when coming in from the snow!

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Santa puts them under the tree... the elves do the wrapping! don't ya know anything! :P

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? I like the white lights on the tree... but grew up with coloured ones... we never had lights on our house as a kid... right now though my roomie and I have coloured with some white stars...

4. Do you hang mistletoe? I sure do, so make sure you are wearing chapstick!

5. When do you put your decorations up? If I had it my way - I would start hanging decorations the last week of November... when Christmas music starts playing on the radio - the decorations go up!

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? I couldn't tell you...

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child: Having a day where my family would all play and relax together - even my dad

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? What truth about Santa? That he lives at the North Pole?! I know you can't possibly be referring to the myth that everyone believes about him not being real! If he isn't real - how come the cookies always get eaten?!

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? We never have... but when I have my own family I want to start the tradition of getting a Kris Kringle on Christmas Eve.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? I love to decorate with a common theme... lots of red and gold... very elegant... but that is definitely not how my mother does it... it is much more haphazard!

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? I love snow - it is so magical... snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes...!

12. Can you ice skate? well... I can stand on skates.. maybe glide a little, do a little twirl maybe?! Who am I kidding - what I do would not be considered ice skating!

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? I got a really cool doll bed when I was younger, a light up barbie house that my dad helped to put together, but my all time favourite - is my christmas snow... anyone who doesn't know... it is a story you must hear!!

14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? being with my family - with people I love and spending time with them!

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Candycane ice-cream, or Jilly's shortbreads!

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? hmmm... thats a hard one! I love everything about Christmas...

17. What tops your tree? A birthday hat... my roommate started this tradition on our first christmas together and it is one that I will continue forever and ever - it was one of my best presents ever! (my birthday is on Christmas)

18. Which do you prefer giving or Receiving? Its my favourite thing in the whole world to give presents!! If I could I would be rich and spend all my money on buying presents for people!

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? I think my favourite older one is "What child is this?" but I love all the newer ones too!!

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum? yum yum yum... and candy cane ice-cream, and and...giggles

21.Do you like Christmas music? I love love love Christmas music - have been playing the Holiday Hits channel on tv for the past week non-stop!

Exam day...

Life has been busy... so busy I ask myself - where has the semester gone?! I will be back in Terrace in a matter of 8 days... and it seems as though I have barely been here in Ontario for longer than a few weeks! Time... where did it go?!

Exam time is here already! Thank goodness I only have one exam this semester... in 'Current Issues in Health Care' - it is a 50% exam and starts in about 5hrs... and yes, you guessed right - I have not reviewed anything as of yet!

The other classes don't have exams... just final assignments which are mostly done - just one more to go for tomorrow morning - it is done, but I still have to do the poster presentation of it! I like that part, cuz I get to be creative! Once that presentation is done.... university as I know it is done... wow... next semester is consolidation - 9credits of clinical experience which translates into 420hrs of free labour! giggles... I am looking forward to doing it in BC... just hard to believe I am going to be leaving behind soo many wonderful people here in Ontario...

I love that I choose now to update here and to get all mushy about leaving... giggles... such a procrastinator!

Ok - grabbing a coffee and hitting the notes (I dont' have the text for this course - too funny)

I love the way you love me...

Its incredible to me his love... this song brought tears to my eyes as I had to sit in the car while he sang it to me... wow... just wow...

Once in a Lifetime...
I can see it in your eyes,
And feel it your touch.
I know that you're scared,
But you've never been this loved.

It's a long shot baby,
Yeah I know it's true.
But if anyone can make it,
I'm betting on me and you.
Just keep on moving into me.
I know you're gonna see,
The best is yet to come.

CHORUS:
Don't fear it now we're going all the way.
That sun is shining on a brand new day.
It's a long way down and it's a leap of faith,
But I'm never giving up, Because I know we got a once in a lifetime love.

Everybody's looking for what we found.
Some wait their whole life,
And it never comes around
So don't hold back now just let go,
On all you've ever known.
You can put you're hand in mine.

CHORUS Don't fear it now we're going all the way.
That sun is shining on a brand new day.
It's a long way down and it's a leap of faith,
But I'm never giving up, Because I know we got a once in a lifetime love.

I close my eyes and I see you standing right there.
Saying do and they throwing the rice in our hair.
Well the first one's born and a brother comes along and he's got your smile.
I been looking back on the life we had still by your side.

CHORUS
Don't fear it now we're going all the way.
That sun is shining on a brand new day.
It's a long way down and it's a leap of faith,
But I'm never giving up, Because I know we got a once in a lifetime love.

I don't know...

boo hoo hoo... I am so tired I want to cry... short staffed shift yesterday and up til one am... then up at five am for another day shift... and the bus... waaaaaaa

seriously anyone who reads this and believes in prayer - I need some serious strength!!!!